Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas 2009

Christmas 2009

Congratulations to Sven, Jocelyn and Yannik who were told "YES" in court yesterday that they may indeed adopt Mlle O - Annabelle. That was the best gift any family could receive on Christmas day.

Truthfully, I found Christmas this year and mass in particular very difficult. Behind me was the sweetest little 3 month old girl, dressed in a red velvet and white fur outfit, her parents were filled with joy and pride. In front of me was a 3 year old girl playing with her mothers scarf, and beside her, her 6 year old brother pretending to be so serious, their mother looked at her children with joy as weel.. In fact all around were happy children and proud loving parents. And what kept running through my head was this Christmas was suppose to be MY first with a child. Waves of grief would pass over me. Maybe the children's mass wasn't the best idea.

But, it isn't my way to wallow in grief, so I dusted myself off and reminded myself that I will adopt a baby, not on my schedule but on the real one that will reveal itself according to life's plan.

So, at home we enjoyed opening gifts, then I made a brunch feast of Cinnamon Waffles with sausage and bacon. We enjoyed a little quite time, with the sounds of Lawrence Welk in it's endless strains when Kathryn is home. In the evening we braved the rain (thank goodness it all fell as rain or we would have needed the army again) to drive to our cousin's house for a lovely Christmas dinner with 25 of our relatives. Finally home again around midnight to share a little eggnog and rum (my first and only drink of the day as I'm designated driver) and the day was over.

Next milestone to survive is New Year's. Last year I was so certain as we marked the change, that 2009 was the year I would become a mom. Well, it is time to let that go, and now time to focus on 2010 as the year of Motherhood.

Merry Christmas everyone!


Diane said...

Sounds like a great Christmas.....and here's to having 26 people at the table next Christmas!

You did make one little girl VERY happy this Christmas.....and I have to say kudos to you....where on earth did you find a Batman hockey stick?!!! I shall send you some pictures of my little Batman Construction Hockey Player AKA my daughter!!!

Love Diane and Ciera

J said...


yes it is not always easy at Christmas, when you are yearning for your child.

My thoughts and heart went out this Christmas to those families who tried and travelled this year, but came home without a child.

Good luck on your journey and stay strong....took me 3 attempts, but we adopted in the end. Just keep aiming towards that target and you will get there.


Baby Kaz Moore said...

I admire your strength. I fully remember the countless times I would sit in church by myself and silently tears would drip down my cheeks because I was single and wasn't a mother. I knew I was a good person, and why is everyone else married with children? (Of course, this isn't true but that's how I saw the world.) I finally got to the point that I didn't care who saw me crying because church is about me and God and our relationship. Now that I'm blessed with my children, I can now understand that I was waiting for them to become ready for me to come to get them, but it sure doesn't erase the memories. I will say that I have alot more empathy for others who now walk in my shoes and for that, I'm a better person. Maybe that's why I'm on this path. I don't know. I do still hope to meet my husband, but haven't yet. Feel free to email if you ever want. Susan

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and am excited to follow along! I just began the paperwork for my International Adoption so I have a ways to go... nonetheless.. sharing and following in your journey I am sure will be inspiring and helpful. Feel free to check out my blog :-)