Monday, July 27, 2009

Play Date

Sunday saw 'our gang' get together for another play date at Carrie and Edwin's house. Amazing how the children change. The last time we got together back in February, Alex was rolling around on the floor and Aimee, Ciera and Yerlan took a long while to start playing. This time Alex's is walking all over the place and the other 3 quickly got down to some serious playing. According to Yerlan they were playing Motor cross.

I brought my camera but I forgot to get any pictures. I'll have to make sure to take some pictures the next time we get together.

Diane's, MarieClaude and Martin's and my dossiers all went to Kazakhstan at the same time. Diane, MarieClaude and Martin dossiers all went to Karaganda, mine went to Almaty. It would have been so nice if mine had also gone to Karaganda, we might have ended up being in country together. At least it is nice waiting together.

We all seem to feel that we probably won't receive LIO until after the new year. Bummer, I was so hoping this would be the Christmas I'd have a little one at home. Oh, well, as long as my file is on it's way I can just keep waiting. But it certainly is wonderful having such good friends along the way. I absolutely love our play dates as being with these wonderful children actually makes the waiting easier. I love watching them grow up.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Adoption Reading

As I wait, I've been doing a lot of reading about adoption and the parenting of adopted children.

At the moment I'm reading Patty Cogen's Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Through the Teen Years.

The book is a great mix of research, practical suggestions and first hand examples. Cogen is family therapist assisting families who have adopted international. She frequently refers to a program she runs called 'First Year Home' with families as they negotiate their first year after forever family day.

I'm presently on page 103 of the 413 page book. Unfortunately I'm having a hard time remembering what I've already read. That's what I get for trying to read during the school year. I'll reread it this summer and write up some notes for myself. I always remember 'stuff' better if I read and write notes.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Dear Birth Mother - Letter #1

I've been thinking a lot about you lately. Okay, I've been thinking about you since I began my journey to become a mother through adoption. I've decided to start writing letters to you. I don't expect to ever give you the letters, but it seems right some how just to put these words together.

I wonder how you are and how you are coping with your decision to relinquish your rights as a mother. It must be hard. Did you know the whole way through your pregnancy that you would have to give him up at the end? How did you feel as you felt each movement, kick of our child? Did you take good care of him? Did you have a lot of trouble with morning sickness? Were you tired a lot? Was he your first child, or have you had other children?

The other day I was with a friend who became a mother for the second time in March. She is very interested in my journey to become a parent. As we talked she suddenly turned to me and said, "So, your child is already born now." I looked at her in stunned silence. I'd never thought of it that way. I knew when I met our child he or she would have to be at least 6 months old, and I hope to be traveling in 4 to 6 months, but math has never been my best subject. I never thought that our child is alive and growing in a baby house some where in Kazakhstan.

At the moment we are both in the same boat, we are both wondering how our child is doing. I think of our child as a son. You at least know if we have a boy or a girl. Did you see him, hold him before you had to leave him? Did you give him a name? I hope when I meet our child I learn a little about you.

In time, when our child is older, I expect him/her to ask questions about you, question for which I won't have answers. But they will be questions that I am asking myself now as I wait to meet our child.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Happy Canada Day

To think today might be the last of my quiet Canada celebrations. Hopefully next year on Canada's 143rd birthday I'll be celebrating with a little new Canadian citizen.

Kathryn is home for the day from her group home and is in her usual place, lying on the couch watching Lawrence Welk. She slept in this morning. I actually got to sleep in to 9 am myself. I doubt that will happen next year.

I'll take Kathryn back to her group home this evening after dinner as her day program is just closed today for the holiday. She was so excited when I went to the group home last night to pick her up since I rarely pick her up on a Tuesday evening. She is really trying to figure things out these days. While in the group home she asked if we were going to the doctor. I guess the only other times I've picked her up has been to take her to the doctor. And she is recovering from a fracture to her left ankle. It seems a logical explanation to me. I'm so happy to see and hear her thinking these days. For a lady with only a vocabulary of roughly 200 to 500 words she is certainly good at getting her ideas across. Okay, to me she is good at getting her thoughts across. She rarely talks to any one other than JB and I, and I get the most conversation. I wonder what she'll make of her new niece or nephew!

While Kathryn slept, JB and I watched another episode of Star Gate Atlantis Season 5. It was just released yesterday. I love the show and am sorry it's canceled. I plan to take the whole series with me to Kazakhstan to watch while I'm bonding.

It is a beautiful day here today. Not hot, but the sun is out right now. I think it is suppose to rain this evening, as it has for the past week. The lawn is a right mess and I need to get it cut. Every time I think about cutting the grass I think of Lori and Dart's pictures on their blog of Dart mowing the lawn with Nina in a back carrier. Thank goodness for the Kazakhstan adoption blogs out on the net!

There are so many people I have met and become friends and even family with since I've started on this journey to motherhood. In recent days I've received so many encouraging and supportive responses from the wider Kazakh adoption community. I know I've lived on blogs during the past 2 years as I've surged ahead and suffered set backs on this journey. I rarely left messages because I thought it might be rude or inappropriate. Now I see how wonderful these comments can be as you wait. It is so reassuring to know I'm not alone.

I truly know I'm not alone from the wonderful support I get from my new sisters Diane and Loretta. Who knew that becoming a single mom would mean I would also adopt and be adopted by the other single moms. Their 'been there done that, now you do this' help and Diane's companionship as our dossiers paired up at the agency and are traveling together has made this process beyond exciting. I've loved getting to know their children. Ciera is delightful and I was so shocked to see the girl she has become in the recent dance recital pictures. And Alex is simply wonderful. The future is so exciting.

And of course you can't be on a journey like this with out the support of friends and family. JB is so excited about being an uncle. He has such a wicked sense of humour. He came home from shopping the other day and told me I would be so proud of him. He saw a teddy bear but he DIDN'T buy it. I was sort of confused until he explained that it was called a Swear Bear. You push on the bear's stomach and the bear goes off on a swearing rampage. Yes, I am so proud of him.

My friends have also been so excited. They get goosebumps every time I tell them about my dossier passing another stage. And they are SO nice encouraging me to talk on and on about my favourite subject, my adoption journey. All my friends are parents themselves and they are looking forward to me joining the club. I get all that teasing advice about enjoying my free time now as I'll never see it again. LOL

Happiest of Canada Days to all and thank you for your love and support on the journey!