I heard some sad news regarding a fellow adoptive family. The adoption of their son ended when the birth mother returned to re-establish parental rights. I am so sad for the parents who had taken this child into their heart and made him their son. At the same time I am happy for the child. I hope he can have a real and loving relationship with his birth family.
Losing a child mid way through the process is one of my biggest nightmares. It goes with the fear of determining if a child I'm presented is 'my' child. And of course only being offered a severely handicapped child.
My beautiful and loving sister is profoundly developmental handicapped. To know me is to know my sister as I talk about her ALL the time. I call her my baby, as her mental development is around 2 and1/2 years of age. She is a total joy in my life. I cannot imagine not having her in my life and I enjoy all the time we get to spend together.
Having said that, I've done the job and I am continuing to do the job of caring for her. (She lives in the most wonderful group home, but I have her home with me on weekends, etc.) I want a healthy and normal child. That is the reason I chose international adoption. I was warned years ago, well before I actually began the process, not to go the domestic route as I would appear to be the perfect match for children with significant special needs.
With all bad luck stories coming from adoptions in Kazakhstan, of course I believe in one half of my heart it will NEVER happen to me, and in the other half (the one that wakes me in the middle of the night) I'm afraid of it happening.