Weepy Wednesday,Th'Okay Thursday

Yesterday was not a good day. In the morning we went to the baby house and Yulia, my translator went inside to speak to the director about my visits. He hum and ha'd a bit and then said I could come at 4 o'clock for 20 minutes. 20 minutes, I thought 30 was a short visit. So my driver drove me back to my apartment (the drive each way from the baby house is about 20 minutes).

So there I was, in my apartment before 11 o'clock with nothing to do. I knew that Kendra was out at the Ramstore in the morning, and by the time she got home it would be nap time. I would need to be ready to go back to the baby house at 3:40, so I knew we wouldn't be meeting up. It is amazing how much one begins to depend on the visits to the baby house and then for visits with another English speaking person.  I ended up watching a little television, knitting, reading, fretting about court, and worried a huge mountain of worries.

I know that every family that has gone ahead of me here in Uralsk has been successful in their adoption, I keep worrying that I'm going to be the first refusal. Now I know that there is absolutely no reason for the judge to turn down my application, and so far everything had been going extremely well, but you do tend to worry. When I was cut down to 20 minutes for visiting I began to think that maybe they know the judge will say no and there are keeping my visits short so that MLM doesn't get to dependent on me. Hey, I know, it is paranoid, I told you I was fretting and it was not a good day.

I got the baby house and MLM was so happy to see me. All his little friends were happy to see me to, and usually I like to give them all a little attention (to the displeasure of a little man I know), but I didn't have time to waste. So I quickly moved the two of us off to the little isolation room. It was wonderful to be with him, he is such a sweet heart. Any way, the 20 minutes passed way to quickly and I had to hand him to his nurse. I had to hand him as he was crying so hard. It made me weepy too.

Then, by the time I got home I needed to talk to someone and Skype was down. I tell you it wasn't a good day.Oh did I mention that it had snowed during the night, but then was raining so everywhere there was a slushy mess, not a nice day weather wise either.

 But by bed time I was feeling much better first I got through on Skype to talk to my brother for a whole 5 minutes (better than the day before when we had to chat using Facebook) and then Diane called me long disatance using my cell phone, I couldn't think who would be calling me at that time. Actually Diane had to call a couple of times as the phone kept disconnecting. And we talked and talked and I was reassured that everyone going to court has the same fears and that come next Tuesday everything will be just fine. And finally I had a chat with L using Facebook. As I say, I went to bed feeling much better.

Today was a much better day. Not so much weather wise as it is just around above freezing and drizzle/snow mixture. The roads and sidewalks are really wet and there are huge puddles around. Kendra and I walked over to Univegmag and checked out the second floor. Kendra's little girl was in a wonderful mood and enjoyed walking around a little bit. Later we went into Tropicana for a pizza and sparkling water (total for both of us 825 tenge or about 5.75 in Canadian money). Then it was walk back to Kendra's apartment and walk back to my apartment and then wait to go to the baby house.

On the drive to the baby house I told Yulia that I'd gone to Univegmag and she said, "I know'. She told me that she was on the phone with a friend of her's who works in the book shop at the Oral Mall, I'd met her the first time I went into the Oral mall, and her friend saw me today as I walked passed her. They say that 300 000 people live here in Uralsk, but it is a small town. At the baby house, the children were having their afternoon snack of cookies, blinis and milk. At first the nurse wanted me to wait until MLM was finished before we had our visit, but Yulia told her I was only allowed to visit for 20 minutes. I don't think she was going to have much of a choice as he'd seen me. He came running down the hall to be with me. The nurses and all the staff were actually wearing their masks over their faces today, not just under their chin, so I guess the quarantine is very serious and I'm not feeling so paranoid about the 20 minutes.

The nurse came down to speak to Yulia. She told Yulia that MLM is very close to me and loves me very much and that she is happy he has such a loving mother. Then she answered some questions that L had about her son. Finally she asked if I would be able/willing to buy a costume for MLM to wear in the New Year concert. Yulia asked if we could attend, the nurse said absolutely, and then learned that it is on the 28th at 10 am, exactly when I will be in court.After praying for court to be on the 28th, now I'm wishing it could be on another time so I could see MLM in his first concert. I might ask one of the nurses if they can take some pictures with my camera.

We were once again in the isolation room, and I got to watch my little man eating his snack. The nurse came to give him his milk and told Yulia that he is a very obident boy, and he is very smart, he knows exactly which of the clothes are his. The other day all the children were taking off their clothes to go to bed and had thrown them on the playroom floor. He saw the nurse begin to pick up the clothes, He went to the pile and found all his clothing and put it into his cubbie.

We had just a short time to look at the picture book that he likes so much and it was time to go. We could hear his friends coming down the hall. MLM jumped up, went to the door and very gently closed the door, as I moved towards him as I realized it was time to go, he held up his hands to say stop and a huge grin spread across his face. He thought of a way to keep me and keep me away from the others. I was heart broken that I had to tell him it was time for me to leave. MLM realized that I was leaving and he began to howl, the nurse asked us to leave quickly. I do hope he settles easily. I'd hate to think that he cries a long time.

On the way home Andre (the driver) took Yulia and I to Univegmag so that I could find the costume for the play. I was suppose to find the parsley (yes as in that green thing they put on your plate in restaurants, or a rabbit) We couldn't find a small parsley so we settled on a little white rabbit. All the children dress up for New Year's according to a traditional folk tale. I'll try to find the story to share. And I will take a picture of the costume.

Skype seems to finally be back so I can give friends and family a call. I can't believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I've decided not to bring a present for MLM as I would have to take the present away again as the children really don't have their own belongings, and that doesn't seem right with a present. I'd already decided that JB, Kathryn and I will celebrate together when I finally get home with MLM, so I guess in that sense it isn't Christmas to me here yet. I will be going to the baby house from 10 to maybe 10:30 on Christmas morning, and then I will go to Kendra's apartment for lunch. I've knit a little stroller blanket for Kendra's daughter and I will look tomorrow for a little something for Kendra. Here in Kazakhstan, Father Frost bring toys to the children on New Year's Eve, so I think I will go out and buy each of the 5 children (including MLM) a teddy bear and get them wrapped for the New Year. That way I will be able to leave it for him. I don't know if they will be able to keep the toys separate, but each child will have the opportunity to unwrap a gift, and I will be able to share this with MLM.

Anyway Paka paka for now.