Happy Independence Day

As I write, I can hear the music from the town hall. Today is Independence Day. On 16th December, 1991 Kazakhstan adopted the Constitutional Law on the independence of the Republic of Kazakhstan. When I was at the museum across the road with Zhanar they have a room dedicated to the signing, and all the aspects of statehood. It is a wonderful room to check out. Today schools and business were closed for the day, but it was a regular day at the stores, markets and cafes. I kept thinking it was the weekend, I forgot it was Thursday.

I arranged not to call my brother this morning as I wasn't going to the baby house, so I could sleep in. Yup, I got up just after 6:30. Instead I watched t.v. I got to watch Larry King's second last live show. Gosh I think I'll get up tomorrow morning too to watch his last show. How exciting! (Please read the last two statements with LOTS of sarcasm)

Last night my cell phone was working hard. First I was talking to L and A who FINALLY returned here to be reunited with their son. It was nice to be talking locally with them, even if it is only for a few days. Later Kendra and I were on the phone talking about our plans for today. She was settling her new daughter for her second night together. And later I spoke to Diane who was on the other side of the country with her new daughter and their first night together. 3 children joined their forever families. I will admit I am envious but there success is the hope that keeps one going.

Kendra and I met at her apartment to go on an outing with her daughter. We had planned to check out Galaxy, but it didn't open until 1 p.m. (nap time), so we walked down to the mall past the mosque. I know it has a proper name but I can't remember what the name is. While at the mall Kendra bought a stroller for her daughter. It seems like a good one, but you should have seen the two of us losers trying to figure out how to open the darn thing. Finally the mall security officer took pity on us and opened it. There is so much to explore at that mall. It is about a 30 minute walk from my apartment. I plan to return to explore more.

We ate lunch in the little cafe on the main floor of the mall. They have an English menu, but don't have many of the items on the menu. We decided on a dish with pork, potatoes, onion, tomato and garlic. It came on one of those cast iron hot plates, and it was a mess of french fries mixed with garlic, onions and beef. It was surprisingly good, but definitely greasy. Kendra's daughter was hysterical as she quietly told her mother that she wanted more from the plate. We giggled each time she told her mother off.

After lunch we walked back to Kendra's apartment. It doesn't have an elevator, and Kendra's flat is on the 4th floor. That will make using the stroller a challenge until Kendra's mother comes. I said I'll just come upstairs next time on our outings. I'm really beginning to feel confident walking around town. But, Nadia my friend you would be completely and forever lost here as it is nearly impossible to distinguish one building from another and one of the major cell phone internet providers is Bee and they have their bubble bee advertisements EVERYWHERE!

Later I went over to the Chagala Hotel where L and A are staying. I was able to give them some things they need and they gave me some things they brought from Canada for me. We visited for about 2 hours in the really nice apartment unit they are staying in. I'll use one when I return here to collect MLM.

Well it is full dark now and I'm hoping that the fireworks everyone has told me about will actually take place.

Paka paka.

Decisions, Sigh of Relief, Court Date

In life we want guarantees. We want to know for sure that something will happen in a predictable order on an assigned date. When you are involved in an adoption in a foreign country this is never more true, we want a predictable timeline to outline events that happen exactly on certain dates. We, the adoptive parents, want some semblance of control. Well, this is real life, and real life is perfect or to a timetable. I've been struggling with my plan for returning home. I have tickets booked, which you all know about, and I wanted to know when I'd go to court to ensure I could use those tickets. But a death in the family (translator), hospitalization (judge), cancelled flights due to weather (friends) and lack of alternate flights (everyone travelling for the holidays) is the reality of real life. I've been trying to fit my life into this pattern, but I couldn't get a guarantee and that was stressing me out. So last night I decided to extend the time I'm here until mid-January. Whew, what a relief.

As my new friend Kendra would say, I've abandoned plan A and I'm focusing on plan B. Here's the new plan. I'll stay here until the end of the 15 day appeal period. Then I will go and get MLM's birth certificate, which here must be picked up in person. Then I will give it to my coordinator to take care of the passport and visa situation. Passport and visa should take roughly 3 weeks, and during those weeks I'll be at home working. After the 3 weeks are over I'll return here to pick up MLM, a short 7 to 10 day trip. There you have it plan B.

What finally tipped the scale for me was watching the difficulty my friends have had with their trip home and back recently. Both journeys took an additional 2 days. Keep in mind that the usual trip here is a 3 day journey. Bad weather lead to the cancellation or rerouting of their flights. That, for me at this time is just unnecessary stress.

Now that the decision is made, I feel so much better. Then this morning in the car on the way to the baby house I learned that my court date is the 28th of December. Just what I was hoping for LOL.

Of course in the end, this is my plan with the appeal period, the judge could decide to wave the appeal period and I'd have to come up with a totally new plan, but then that would be totally normal in the world of international adoption.

On the MLM front, we had a lovely 30 minute visit today. He was very congested and very thirsty. I'll have to buy a small bottle of water so I can give him water after his drink of juice. We looked at the baby word book and the picture album. He points to pictures in album for me to tell him who the people are, this is new. Of course he equally points to the cartoon animals that are printed on the plastic photo album as well as the pictures of my brother, sister and friends. At the end of our time he walked with me to the playroom and waved, I think he trusts that I will return to play with him again.

This morning my friends arrived, finally after a 2 day delay, they are exhausted. This afternoon they picked up their son from the baby house. I will miss seeing him everyday, it will be strange not to see him on Saturday (the next time I'm to go to the baby house).

I learned this morning that my coordinator, who wasn't feeling well yesterday, is in the hospital. I hope it isn't something serious. She told my translator that she doesn't have time to be sick as she has so much paperwork to do.

Okay, it is nearly 9 am back home, I have a few phone calls to make to let people know I'll be returning in mid-January.
Paka paka.

Situation Normal-ish

Yesterday was a very exciting day at the baby house, well, not when I was there, but later in the day. It was the grand re-opening of the baby house. The mayor of Uralsk was going to be there at 2:30 to see the building. The older children put on a little show for him. This was important for me as it meant I couldn't go to the music room as they were practicing with the older children for their performance. I couldn't go into the group classroom as the nurse was giving the younger children in MLM's group an art lesson. So instead MLM and I got to spend time in the isolation room.

The baby house is divided into little units, each unit has it's own sleeping room, eating room, bathroom, playroom, classroom, isolation room, storage room and kitchenette. There might even be more that I don't know about. The nurses don't prepare the food in the kitchenette, but they can make themselves a cup of tea, and they can make snacks for the children in that room. The main meals are prepared in the kitchen and brought to the unit. The isolation room is a little room with 2 cribs, a change table, kiddie tables and chairs and a sink. It is a really small room for so much furniture. The idea is to separate a child who is sick, but not needing to be in the infirmary.

So far I've been into the classroom, playroom, kitchenette, and bathroom. I still want to see the sleeping room and eating room. The baby house was built in a square around a central courtyard, with each of these units accessible by it's own outside door way, allowing for safety in case of fire, but also easy of entrance/exit with the children to the out door space. In addition, each unit is accessible from the main corridor in the lower level. It still feels like a bit of maze as each hallway at the bottom level looks the same.

Each unit is also separate from the other unit, so much so that you don't hear any noise. Supposedly there are 120 children in the baby house, I only see the 8 in MLM group these days, and I rarely hear any others. I have to say though, that many of the rooms have an unused look about them, I've noticed as I walk around the building.

Kendra and I were laughing on the weekend about the moving furniture. Every day when we arrive the furniture has been moved, change, or rearranged in some way. Yesterday the bench in the cubby room was moved and there was a beautiful soft yellow sheer curtain hanging where the bench had been situated. Today there is a bench, a new bench against the wall but behind the sheer curtain. I think the bench is to keep the children away from the radiators, there is only one word for those radiators and it is OUCH! They are very very hot, which is why the baby house is so hot.

MLM has very little expressive language. At his 2 year evaluation his nannies said he used 2 or 3 words. Many of the other children in the room talk away like crazy, but not MLM. But he is beginning to copy all the sounds I make. We were playing a game of copying sounds and I guess I said 'OH MY' well oh my oh my oh my was his next set of sounds. Then I said "OH NO", and then he started saying oh no oh no oh no. The other day Yulia (my interpreter, who is my new friend on Facebook I'll have you know J ) and I heard MLM say 'CA", now in Russian they say the raven, which we were watching says 'CAW" and we were telling MLM that, and moments earlier we'd watched a car drive by and I'd said both MACHINA (the Russian word for car - it isn't spelt that way, but is sounds like that) and CAR. So who knows what MLM was saying, but it is nice to hear him attempting words.

I still don't have a court date. Today my coordinator said the judge would let me know after Independence day holiday. It is a 4 day holiday starting on Thursday (oh but the stores don't shut, Yulia was so surprised that I would even think such a thing LOL). The judges clerk told my coordinator that it would be either the 28 or the 29^th. I told my translator I need to know this week as I need to let work know if I am returning to work on January 3^rd. My coordinator said if I have tickets to Canada on the 29^th than I can go to court when I return. No I'm not doing that. That would mean another 7 to 8 weeks here to finish all the paperwork, I've also heard that the judge doesn't like it when people leave before court, I'm not doing anything the judge might not like. I only want to go home to pass the time while the paperwork is being done. So my coordinator said she would learn for me tomorrow what is happening. The big difficulty is I can't get a flight home between the 30^th of December and the 7 of January. Oh, and can you imagine coming home and having to return to go to court. I'd be a complete basket case, no way am I leaving before court.

The last two days also marked a change, as MLM didn't cry when I returned him to his group. He isn't happy, but he doesn't cry and roll on the floor. Yesterday I think the idea of using scissors was the attraction, today he just seemed to be okay. Yulia says it is because he knows I will come back. I had almost an entire hour with him this morning, which was wonderful. One of the nurses said that I was getting the best little boy of the entire group. She wanted to know if I had other children. I must say the staff are always so nice. And the children are always so clean and well looked after.

After the baby house we went to the Ramstore at the Oral Center. It is a shopping center. I needed to buy shorts and t-shirts for MLM. The lady at the store said it was very strange to need shorts and t-shirts in December, luckily she had them. 2 sets of underwear, a T-shirt and a pair of shorts cost me just over 15 dollars. I'm suppose to take MLM's clothes home each day to wash, that way they don't get mixed up with the other children's clothes, but the lady who collects the clothes is there before me and there is never any dirty clothes, and MLM is missing a few of the things I've brought or bought for him. With my sister living in the group home, I am ever so familiar with the disappearance of clothing and take it to be situation normal.

It is overcast and drizzling right now. I try to go for a walk everyday, but it is too slippery today. I go to the baby house tomorrow, but I don't go on Thursday or Friday because it is Independence day, then I will go again on Saturday and on Sunday. I should be in prime location to see the fireworks on Thursday for Independence day, I thanked my coordinator for finding me such a great apartment.

Okay Paka paka for now, I'm off to make lunch and see what is on the television. I also have a great novel I'm reading on my Kobo. Anna and Nadia I can never tell you too how much I adore and am saved by this wonderful thing. It is so much fun going onto the Kobo sight to find books I might want to read. It is like going to the bookstore whenever I want.

30 out of 1440 Isn't Enough

Just putting it out there, but 30 minute visits make for a very long day (I did the math, the whole day is 1440 minutes. Needless to say my visit with MLM is the absolute highlight of the day. I still get really nervous every morning as prepare to go. I find I can't eat and I just feel so scared, of what I'm not sure. And then I see his little face and he comes running into my arms and I feel wonderful. When I'm with him it seems the most natural thing in the world. But the whole time I with him I'm aware that very soon it will be time to say goodbye.

I love when the staff sees me because they all say "--------------- your mama". It is amazing how that phrase sounds the same in English and in Russian.

Oh, I felt like I'd failed my first parent/teacher interview the other day. One of the main nurses, MLM's favourite nurse told me that MLM is a naughty little boy since his mama has come. Now he doesn't listen and he won't do as he is told, he just wants to laugh and run around. She wasn't complaining and didn't want to be mean, I think, as she was smiling when she told me.

I see all the children in his group when I pick him up and when I return him to his playroom. All the children are looking for attention, all would love the one-on-one attention that a 'mama' gives. I know that MLM doesn't understand what a 'mama' really is, nor that one day I hope to bring him home with me forever. At the moment I'm like the cookie he teased Kendra's daughter with the day we were in the music room together. I'm a treat, something he really enjoys and doesn't want to see leave, and something he has that the other children don't have. If the other children are around he holds out his hand in that universal sign of stop, as to say 'don't come here, this is my momma'. I think it will be a while before he will want to share my attention with others.

Kendra and I have spent the last two afternoons together . On Saturday we went to the Dixie Pub. I'd heard from Amanda that they make a wonderful veal masala with mashed potatoes, only they didn't have an English menu at the restaurant. Okay, picture this, Kendra and I going through the menu back and forth, looking at the Russian, and we kept looking, as if the more we looked the more we'd understand. In the end we settled for pizza which was quite good. As we sat and talked, a group of children at a nearby table all received tall glasses of some sort of milkshake. Well, we both caved and each ordered one, it was a banana milkshake. It was good as long as it was cold, which wasn't for too long, but it certainly quenched our curiosity.

Today we went down the main road to the Pushkin hotel. First we walked over to the WWII memorial. It is such a moving site. It was a beautiful sunny day around freezing. Then we went back to the hotel to have lunch. Kendra really enjoyed the menu in English. We both ended up ordering the Steak Diane (served with a lovely balsamic vinegar sauce) and the French fries. It is sad when French fries make you really happy. After lunch we walked back to where her apartment as she showed me the market where she buys her fruit and vegetables. I think it is too far from my apartment (about 20 minute walk) but it was such a nice day today I enjoyed the walk.

I have to say that I really lucked out when it comes to apartments. I have a wonderful view out both my exposures, and as it is the main street just down from city hall, I get to see anything that is going on (Tree lighting ceremony). Also my apartment comes with satellite tv. I pay extra for it, but Kendra's apartment doesn't even have the option. Also, I have this internet service. Kendra's is true dial up using phone cards. Her's isn't fast enough to support Skype. As I say, I really lucked out. I'll have to thank Nastya big time for finding me this nice apartment.

Tomorrow Kendra goes to court. She was suppose to go on Friday but the judge was sick. I'd hoped to hear when I go to court, but, yup the judge was sick. The judges clerk said it will most likely be the 28^th or 29^th of the month. I have tickets to fly to Almaty at 9:50 on the morning of the 29^th and then tickets to Toronto for the 30^th, so let's pray that court is the 28^th. I don't expect the judge to wave the 15 day appeal period, so I'd like to come home for those 2 weeks, and then return here for the 3 - 4 weeks it takes to get the birth certificate, passport and entrance visa. If my court date is the 29^th, then I'll plan to stay here until the 15 days are over and then get the birth certificate, at that point I have to decide if it is worth coming home just to return to pick MLM up. There are no flights to Frankfurt from the 31^st to January 7^th, if I'm staying for a whole week, I might as well stay the second, and then…

I have to say all this thinking does a person in.

Paka paka!

Part two

The last post was sent before I had a chance to proof read or for that matter finish.

 

As I was saying, time was over way too fast. I hate saying goodbye and he cries when I return him to his play room. I have to carry him into the room, I now walk well into the room, give him a hug and lots of kisses and then lay him on the floor and leave. He throws himself to the floor otherwise, so I figure I'll make it easy for him. Outside, as I walked past his room, I could see his roommates and we waved to each other.

 

On the way home my driver took me out for blinis and a cup of tea. It was really nice, he'd told me the week before that this restaurant made the best pancakes. They were delicious. We each received two blinis filled with a meat and onion mixture. As we ate we watched a documentary in Russian about the Winchester family, makers of the guns. Who knew they would have such a strange house.

 

I was back at my apartment at 11:30. I called Kendra, the lady from Montreal only to learn that her visit times had been moved back  to the afternoon, so we couldn't get together. And then I discovered that my internet was out. It wasn't even noon and I had nothing to do for the remainder of the day. It was a LONG day. I ended up watching many episodes of Charmed on my computer and finished knitting a shawl.

 

It's nearly 11 my time, and I need to go to bed. The water gets turned off every morning around 8, so if I want a shower I need to get up earlier.

Keep well everyone, paka paka.